Passive-aggressive at work: transforming these subtle signals into levers of cooperation

According to a study conducted in 2023, more than 8 out of 10 employees say they have already been confronted with passive aggressive communication at work.

Sighs in meetings, prolonged silences, polite answers but full of undertones, emails that Say one thing while saying another. Passive aggressiveness at work is not (necessarily) expressed out loud. It is installed in daily professional life, where voltages struggle to find a clear space to be expressed.

Often perceived as secondary, almost harmless, it does not cause or open conflict no visible brilliance. And yet, by dint of accumulating, these micro signals end up weakening trust, Use relationships and complicate cooperation within the teams.

Passive aggression is neither a character trait nor a label to stick on individuals. It is most often the reflection of collective functioning under tension, a framework that does not always encourage the direct expression of disagreements. In other words, he talks less about people than about the work context.

Passive aggressiveness in the workplace, what are we really talking about?

La communication Passive aggressive is distinguished by one particularity: it indirectly expresses discontent or resistance, without open confrontation. Rather than clearly saying what's bothering, some people will send subtle, often contradictory signals. This can result in prolonged silences, responses that are apparently polite but full of undertones, or behaviors that slow or complicate work without a formal explanation.

Contrary to traditional aggressive behaviors, The passive-aggressive does not seek frontal conflict. It is more insidious, but its impact is real: it creates confusion, undermines trust, and can lead to team frustration. According to HR Brew, 44% of employees admit that they themselves have adopted passive aggressive behavior at work at one time or another, which shows that this phenomenon is neither rare nor the preserve of a few difficult individuals.

The most frequent forms

The manifestations of this indirect communication are varied and often subtle. It may be procrastination targeted, of delays Repeated on important tasks, of reviewers Disguised in compliments, or even silences And of withdrawal after a request or a remark. Emails and written messages can also be used as a vector, when the ambiguous wording leaves room for doubt or sends an implicit message without direct confrontation.

Why is passive-aggressive communication developing?

This type of communication does not appear in a vacuum. It is most often the result of a work environment that does not encourage the direct expression of tensions, of a Lack of psychological safety or even management methods that emphasize the avoidance of conflict. Passive aggressive behaviors are therefore Weak signals that reveal difficulties in communicating or being heard in the collective.

Understanding what passive-aggressive means makes it possible to no longer perceive it as a simple “personality disorder” but as a informant relational and organizational. For HR and managers, this perspective is essential: it paves the way for concrete actions to clarify communication, restore trust and transform these silent tensions into opportunities for collective improvement.

Concrete examples of passive-aggressive and how to act

1. The never-ending mission

• Observed behavior : An employee accepts a task but systematically puts it off for later, without a clear reason.
• What does that translate : A form of unexpressed resistance or disagreement.
• Practical action for the manager : Clarify the request by setting specific steps, check understanding and ask for an explicit commitment to deadlines.

2. The heavy silence

• Observed behavior : After a remark or a decision, an employee falls into silence or becomes distant.
• What does that translate : Unexpressed frustration or disagreement, fear of conflict.
• Practical action for the manager : Go to a one-on-one interview to open a dialogue, ask open questions about what may have been annoying and rephrase what was understood.

3. Ambiguous emails

• Observed behavior : An employee sends emails that are polite but that reveal criticism or implicit reproach (“As you wish, I will do my best...”).
• What does that translate : An indirect message to signal disagreement or discontent.
• Practical action for the manager : Clarify orally or in a meeting, reformulate what is expected, and propose a framework where disagreements can be said directly.

4. The “too conciliatory”

• Observed behavior : In meetings, the employee agrees to all the proposals but does not then apply them or discreetly sabotages their implementation.
• What does that translate : An implicit refusal to cooperate, often for fear of confrontation or a feeling of not listening.
• Practical action for the manager : Request a clear commitment and a follow-up action plan, and set up regular follow-up to transform implicit resistance into open discussion.

5. Ambivalent compliments or irony

• Observed behavior : Comments that seem positive but hide a criticism or an irony (“Very good idea... as always, you are quick to offer solutions!”).
• What does that translate : A dissatisfaction expressed indirectly, sometimes to test the reaction or to send a signal of tension.
• Practical action for the manager : Reformulate what has been heard and ask for the essence of the message, create a secure space for the collaborator to express their disagreement directly.

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The impacts of passive-aggressive on groups and performance

While passive-aggressive communication may seem trivial, its effects on the collective and on performance are not. These subtle behaviors don't make noise, but they accumulate and create a climate of latent tension. Teams can feel a tiredness relational, a lack of clarity in instructions and a slowdown in decision-making.

One British investigation showed that passive aggressive behaviors were mentioned as a factor that contributed to 39% of resignations over 12 months, making it one of the most cited relational elements behind classic reasons such as remuneration or development opportunities. This data illustrates that it is not a management detail, but a concrete organizational challenge. An employee confronted with this type of behavior may feel frustrated, misunderstood or devalued, which impacts his motivation and his ability to collaborate effectively with colleagues.

The consequences are also felt on the quality of work and collective performance. Passive aggressive causes repeated misunderstandings, errors related to unclarified instructions, and sometimes duplication of tasks. Cooperation is slowed, and silent tensions end up taking a toll on the team's overall productivity.

For managers and HR, the main challenge is that these behaviors are often invisible or misidentified. The signs can pass for simple slowness or a bad mood. However, Behind these micro-behaviors are valuable signals on the relational health of the collective. Identifying and understanding them makes it possible to act beforehand, before they have a lasting impact on engagement and performance.

Recognizing the impact of passive-aggressive behavior on groups is also identify levers to improve communication, strengthen trust and transform what hinders collaboration into opportunities for cohesion and quality of life at work.

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How to act concretely: 5 levers to transform passive aggressiveness into opportunity

1. Creating a safe environment for speech

Passive aggressiveness often comes from an environment where it is difficult to say what you think. HR and managers can turn this tension into an opportunity by creating spaces where employees can express their views without fear.

• Concrete actions : regular meetings in small groups, individual interviews, anonymous surveys on satisfaction and difficulties.
• example : During a workshop, an employee hesitant to criticize a process was able to share his ideas safely thanks to a structured and benevolent way of speaking.

2. Clarifying expectations and goals

Many passive-aggressive behaviors occur when an employee does not fully understand what is expected of them or feels frustrated by a vague objective. Precise instructions and clear goals reduce implicit tensions.

• Concrete actions : define clear deadlines, formalize responsibilities, reformulate instructions to verify understanding.
  
  
• example : A manager notes repetitive delays. By clarifying the steps of the mission and validating each sub-task, the implicit frustration disappears almost immediately.

3. Detect and name weak signals

Passive aggression is manifested by subtle behaviors: delays, irony, silences. HR and managers can turning these signals into opportunities for dialogue rather than ignoring them.

• Concrete actions : observe recurring behaviors, take factual notes, discuss the situation during a private exchange.
• example : An employee who systematically answers “as you want” is invited to explain what he really thinks. The discussion reveals frustrations that were previously implicit.

4. Train and support in direct and constructive communication

The ability to express a disagreement or a need without using indirect messages is a real driver of quality of life at work. Train managers and teams in simple techniques for clear communication makes it possible to naturally reduce passive aggressive behaviors.

• Concrete actions : workshops on assertiveness, role-playing games to reformulate a disagreement, active listening training.
• example : After a workshop, a team adopts the rule of “immediate and factual feedback”, which significantly reduces ironic or ambiguous remarks.

5. Establishing follow-up and dialogue rituals

Passive aggression is not resolved in a single encounter. Transforming these behaviors into opportunities requires regular monitoring and dialogue rituals. that normalize the expression of tensions.

• Concrete actions : weekly updates on current projects, collective feedback meetings, internal mediation if necessary.
• example : In a team, weekly check-ins allow for the sharing of frustrations before they become passive, improving cooperation and commitment.

Passive aggression is not a fixed character trait or an individual problem that needs to be “corrected.” It is above all a relational and organizational signal. Indirect behaviors, silences, ironies, or repeated delays often reveal tensions that have not found space to express themselves.

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For HR, managers and groups, these signals are all opportunities to act: clarify communication, create a framework of trust, train in simple relational practices and establish regular dialogue rituals. When identified and addressed, these behaviors can turn into levers for improving collaboration, trust and quality of life at work.

By taking passive-aggressive behavior as an indicator rather than a fatality, teams have the opportunity to transforming silent tensions into concrete opportunities for cooperation and collective performance.

The key message: understand, identify, and act. What is hampering collaboration today may strengthen the collective in the future.

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