Grief and work: what if we dared to talk about it (really)?

Every year, more than 640,000 deaths are registered in France.

Behind everyone, there is a family, loved ones... and often, an employee who, a few days later, returns to work, sometimes forced to act as if nothing had happened.

An employee who comes back after the loss of a loved one is a delicate moment. We would like to do it, but we don't always know how. We are afraid of saying the wrong word, or on the contrary, of not saying enough. So, we avoid. We quickly move on to other things. And we hope that “it will be fine.”

However, in reality, Grief does not end at the end of the leave. And acting as if nothing had happened is often the best way to weaken someone who is struggling to stay on their feet. As an HR or manager, there is a key role to play, and that does not mean becoming a psychologist, or revolutionizing everything.

In this article, we offer you another way of looking at the subject: more human, more concrete, more adapted to your realities on the ground, whether you are at the headquarters of a large group or in a production workshop. Figures to understand, simple actions to implement, and above all, a posture to cultivate : that of listening, of connection, and of common sense. Are we going?

“When you come back after a painful event, several challenges can present themselves:
- Manage the reactions of others (colleagues, hierarchy);
- Dealing with clumsiness or silences;
- Difficulty concentrating, emotional fatigue;
- Fear of judgment, of not being “at the level”;
- Implicit pressure to “go back to business as before.”
Beyond the different phases of bereavement of the Kübler-Ross model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), the return to work activates a very broad emotional range:
- Sadness;
- Anger, sometimes against the injustice of what happened;
- Anxiety about the future;
- Guilt (“I am not productive enough”);
- And sometimes even a detachment: we no longer manage to invest ourselves as before.
These emotions are natural and legitimate. They come and go. And being aware of this is already a first form of self-support. “, Cécile Cerobski, Occupational psychologist at Qualisocial.

Why is there little talk about bereavement... when everyone is concerned

In France, more than 4 million people grieve each year.

And of these 4 million, a large part continues to go to work, sometimes as early as the week following the loss of their loved one (source: Ifop x Footprints).

The number speaks for itself: it is not “a separate subject”, it is a lifelong test that goes through the company, like any other personal event. But as much as there are processes for The arrival of a child or the return from sick leave, as much Grief remains a fuzzy zone. And often... a quiet zone.

The double penalty: losing a loved one, and having to act “as if nothing had happened”

The legal leave for the death of a close relative is 3 to 5 working days. That is all.

Then? Life is back on. Or at least, that's what we often expect from an employee.

But the reality is that you don't put on a “pro hat” like you would put on a jacket. Going back to work while still in shock is difficult. And in many cases, The hardest part is not there workload, but the lag : the impression that you have to hide what you are going through, so as not to “make the team uncomfortable” or “slow down”.

Result? Many people grieve on a submarine. They grit their teeth, lower their heads, and try to put on a good face.

“Suffering is not always visible. You can smile, act “as if”, and yet still be in trouble. There is no hierarchy in pain: everyone experiences things in their own way. There are questions you face when you come back to work: - Do I have to tell my colleagues everything? ” → No, it's up to you to choose what you want to share.
- “What if I don't feel ready? ” → It's important to say that. The occupational physician can support an appropriate deferral or return.
- “What should I do if I crack? ” → You have the right. Having a safe place, a coworker, or a room to isolate yourself can help
Returning is a process, not a one-time event. The most important thing is to be able to come back gradually and talk about it with your manager or with HR, to set up a clear framework together:
- What are your priorities?
- What are your current limits?
- What do you need to feel supported?” , Cécile Cerobski, Occupational psychologist at Qualisocial.

Taboo or simple discomfort? What often blocks groups

The silence around bereavement is not a refusal of compassion. It is often a benevolent clumsiness: you don't know what to say, so you don't say anything. We don't want to wiggle the knife in the wound. We tell ourselves that it's intimate, that it's not the place.

And yet, Saying nothing is sometimes worse than saying bad.

On the HR side, there is also a vagueness: what is the role to play? How far to go? Is there a risk of doing too much, or not enough? The main challenge is to accompany well, but without falling into interference.

The good news is that you don't have to be perfect to be a support person. And above all: Talking about the subject is already a first step. Naming things means giving them back a legitimate place in the company. And that's a human skill as well as a professional one.

Organizational denial: at what price?

We are not going to lie to ourselves: when an employee is going through a bereavement and the company buries its head in the sand, it does not go unnoticed. Maybe not right away. But very quickly, the effects are felt: on the person concerned, on the team, on the general atmosphere.

And if we're talking about organizational denial here, it's not to point fingers. That is to say that, often, the organization simply does not know how to do it. So she doesn't. Result: we leave the subject aside... hoping that it will pass.

But that doesn't always happen.

On the employee side: an overload that quickly overflows

When you're grieving, it's not just about sadness. There are procedures to manage, of sleepless nights, of Emotions in bulk... And when you come back to work, you try to keep up, to keep up, to “not be noticed.”

This quiet overwork can lead to:

• one chronic fatigue,
• Of attention disorders,
• Of mistakes Or accidents,
• one gradual disengagement, sometimes imperceptible at first.

In 2025, 1 employee out of 4 declared themselves in poor mental health (25%) and, less than 1 in 4 employees had access to a comprehensive mental health prevention plan within their organization (23%). Note that 83% of employees benefiting from a comprehensive prevention plan believe that this has improved mental health (Mental Health Barometer and QVCT 2025 Qualisocial x Ipsos).

Collective side: when silence creates faults

Unaccompanied bereavement is not just an individual issue. The whole team is watching, and sending a silent signal to everyone:” We don't talk about this kind of thing here.”

And it can have several domino effects:

• Of Internal tensions (“we don't know how to behave”, “we're walking on eggshells”),
• One Loss of cohesion (“Everyone manages on their own”),
• One Damaged managerial image (“they don't take care of their teams”).

Little by little, it's trust and Psychological Safety That are eroding. And when these falter, the whole collective performance follows.

It is not a fatality. It's not about having all the answers, but about Show that the company sees, the company hears, and above all: the company does not leave alone.

Grief at Work: Good Habits to Adopt

When it comes to coaching, there is no magic formula. No script to follow to the letter. But there are simple, human and effective actions that can make all the difference.

What the law says (plain and clear)

We start with the basic framework: The Bereavement Leave is 3 to 7 Working Days Depending on the Relationship with the Deceased Person (article L3142-1 of the Labour Code).

And that's a legal minimum. Nothing prevents the company from going further (by collective agreement or internal policy), or from considering more flexible arrangements upon return.

Some possible paths:

• Temporarily Adjust the Schedule,
• Alleviating the workload,
• Allow for a gradual return,
• Offer HR support or psychological support, even punctual.

The Right Question at the Right Time

Practicing is not “having the right words.” It's daring to ask the right question.

• For a manager, it can be: “Do you want to talk about it or do you prefer to be left alone for a while? ”
• For a colleague: “I don't really know what to say, but here I am.”
• For an HR: “What would make it easier for you to recover? ”

It is not about “doing well”, just about showing that we are present. That's what counts.

The Role of the Collective: Not to Leave Aside

What actually the most after bereavement is not necessarily the work itself. It's social isolation. The fact of coming back and feeling that “the others don't know what to say”, or worse: that we no longer exist in the group.

This is where the collective has a real role to play:

• Send a message,
• Suggest a coffee,
• Maintain a form of connection, even if it is a slight one.

They are small touches, but they allow you to come back without having to explain everything again, without feeling “apart.”

And in the factory? When the Terrain Does Not Allow You to Erase

Teleworking can sometimes offer an airlock, a buffer. But in production, on site, this airlock does not exist. We are there, we are seen, and the machine is not waiting.

This is exactly where adaptation is even more crucial.

• Allow a temporary binomial,
• Alleviate the most physically or mentally demanding tasks,
• Plan a short team meeting to “set the framework” and avoid environmental discomfort.

Every action counts. And above all: Every gesture shows that we are a human organization, not a machine.

And after? Do not close the bracket too quickly

The vacation is over, the person is back, everything seems to “go back to normal”... But that's often when everything really starts. Grief is not a parenthesis that you open and then close. It's a process, with its ups and downs... and sometimes its silences.

“Legitimize the fact that mourning is not “behind” once the leave is over. Realize that you will have to get to know your collaborator/colleague again.” Cécile Cerobski, Occupational psychologist at Qualisocial.

Talk about the subject again without fear of doing bad things

Many managers or colleagues ask themselves: “Now what am I saying? ”

Good news: you should not seek perfection, but just dare to be present.

A few simple sentences are enough:

• ” How are you feeling right now?”
• ” Do you want to talk about it again or do you prefer to move on?”

The important thing is to leave a door open. Don't force, but don't run away either.

Delayed Effects: When Body and Mind Pay Off Later

Many HR directors note that the effects of bereavement do not always come immediately.

It is sometimes 3, 6 or 9 months later that weak signals appear:

• Chronic fatigue,
• Loss of attention,
• Demotivation or tension,
• Burn-out Or Work Accident.

According to the “Grieving” guide published by KLESIA, the number of absences following bereavement has Increased by more than 25% Between 2019 and 2021, bringing to nearly 70% the number of employees on sick leave after bereavement. In addition, 80% of employees consider the support of their HR department to be inadequate or non-existent. These figures highlight the importance of adequate support to prevent the risks of disengagement and psychological distress.

Establishing a culture of care

There is no need to turn the business into a psychological support unit. What we can aim for, on the other hand, is a culture of “care”: in other words, Activate attention to others.

A few simple levers:

• An HR point at a distance from the return (ex: 1 month later),
• Managers who are aware of weak signals,
• A possible relay to external support,
• A space for collective speech or discussion (not necessarily focused on mourning, but on the link between pro/personal).

The idea is to say:”We are not going to fix everything, but we are not going to act as if nothing happened.”

Going Further: Useful Resources to Take Action

Because there is no magic solution, but plenty of ways to make concrete progress, here are some resources to take action:

🔹 Guide” Grief at Work: How to Deal with It? ” — Empreintes Association

🔹 Device” My psychological support ” — Service-public.fr

🔹 Medical-Psychological Emergency Cells (CUMP) — Ministry of Health

🔹 National psychological support toll-free number: 0 800 130 000 (free call, 7 days a week)

What Qualisocial offers in concrete terms

Qalisocial art, We are convinced that the support of bereavement cannot be improvised... but that it can be human, adapted and concrete.

• We support employees and their families during brief situations, with individual psychological interviews, listening, and long-term follow-up.
• We also intervene in crisis management, following a death or a traumatic event, to help teams find their bearings and avoid emotional isolation.
• And because these situations can also be taken care of from the field, We train internal referents to Mental Health First Aid (PSSM). These resourceful, aware and equipped collaborators can thus play a key role in Local support, by identifying warning signs and by directing colleagues to the right resources.

Because caring for the collective begins with sincere attention to the fragility of each person.

What if coping with bereavement was also... Strengthening the culture of relationships in the company?